The Guidance Guy Advice Column

 

Dear Guidance Guy,

I am a sophomore in high school right now, and I am concerned about my grades. I do not get honor role, I usually get one C, but I take the most challenging classes that I can take and I plan on taking more courses over the summer to advanced my school work. I am extremely nervous that since I have not been getting honor roll so far (freshman year and first quarter of sophomore year), not one college will accept my application form. I joined a club both last year and this year, the first robotics team. What do you think? If I get really good grades from now on will I be alright to go to college? Please tell me the bad news as well.

Thanks,
StudentXYZ

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Dear Student XYZ,

There is no bad news. Of course you will be able to get into college, because there is a college for every student.

Back up a bit. Different colleges look for different types of kids. Some look for the top kids in schools as far as grades, college entrance exam scores, etc. But these are very few. Many more colleges want to see students who are doing their best, getting good grades (especially grades that improve over time) and scores that show the student is ready to learn at the college level.

And some colleges are much more forgiving if a student has struggled in high school. Many schools - mostly two year community colleges will accept students regardless of grades, so long as they graduate from high school.

Here's something you don't too often...a difficult school to get into doesn't necessarily make a good school...and certainly doesn't make it right for you. And an easy school to get into certainly doesn't make it a bad school. It's going to be ALL about how seriously you take it when you get there.

My advice: focus on what you'd like to be doing after high school and make plans around that. Since you have an interest in robotics find a school that has a program or major in it. You can see your guidance counselor for help with that, pick up a book on the subject, or even do an on line search.

The world you're going into is big and bright! Do the best you can now, have fun being a teenager, and get excited about your future. It's all good!

Thanks for a great letter,
The Guidance Guy

Dear Guidance Guy,

My daughter is a junior and she is hoping to get into the University of Delaware. Their website indicates that they admit students with A's and B's. My daughter has been an honor student until this year. There is one class with a bad teacher where we do not anticipate a grade above a C. Every effort has been made to move her from this class (unsuccessfully) and many other students have either dropped the class or moved to another class.

I have two questions: can we sue the school if this one grade affects her ability to get into the college of her choice? Do we have a legal right to a more appropriate class?

Thanks,
Concerned Parent

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Dear Concerned,

When colleges post information on their website about the kind of student they admit, these are intended as general guidelines. In other words a typical admitted student will have A's and B's. As long as everything else is in good shape (including college entrance exam scores) it is very unlikely one grade lower than these will disqualify your daughter from being offered admission.

There is nothing to stop you from suing the school under these circumstances but there is no way you would win such a suit. You would have to prove intent on the teacher's part to deny your child the grade she deserved or document a pattern of incompetence on the teacher's part. You would then have to show the reason she didn't get admitted to a college was directly because of what happened in that class. From what you've told me I don't see any way that will happen.

Same is true as far as removing her from a class. You can request a change. But it seems teacher is certified/licensed to teach the subject, or is at least working for a school that is supervising her then it's up to the school's discretion. It doesn't seem as if any laws were broken. If what you want is a better experience, try working with the teacher as someone who also wants what's best for your child. If that doesn't work and dropping the class is an option, that may be the way to go.

Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy

Dear Guidance Guy,

I just learned the philosophy at my daughter's elementary school is no homework. She is in senior kindergarten right now and when I compare what she does with her other cousins - they are getting homework. Also as part of their program they have 40 minutes of outdoor play each day and her class is only 2.5 hours long! Wanted your opinion and thoughts on what I can do.

Thanks,
Reni

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Dear Reni,

There are several different schools of thought on giving homework to young kids. Some people prefer to have pre-schoolers and kindergarteners develop structure and routine through simple at home assignments. Some like them to run free and discover things for themselves as much as possible. And most classes with young kids fall somewhere in the middle.

It seems as if your daughter's school is closer to the second category. If your preference is to have a more structured experience for your daughter you can certainly create it yourself. Try asking her teacher about activities that could supplement what's happening in school. If you don't get any good suggestions from the school you should be able to find great activity books in the children's section of any bookstore.

A few minutes a day of something fun and challenging - perhaps something you can work on together - seems like a great way to supplement her learning.

Thanks For Your Letter,
The Guidance Guy

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Dear Larry,

Glad you gave the question some attention, but was disappointed with the same 'ole stale and ineffective answer to the real problem of students not having the benefit of checks and balances over the programs that govern them in their daily lives. Your previous idea to form a parent's organization was the one I was after. That same suggestion was pushed by a school official here (one, like many, who sees the need), but I've yet to find an effective way to gather together the forces efficiently. The "stay connected" way just doesn't get it.

I'm as connected and mainstream as the average mom. I work in the Guidance and Attendance office at my school weekly. I have worked with youth and their parents in leadership positions within church, scouts, sports, and school programs for the entire ten years I have lived in this community. I have a school official on my resume as a reference. I am known for my letters of praise for teachers who do a great job, letters that are escalated to the top as habit. The superintendent of our schools refers to me as someone with real insight when it comes to understanding most teachers/administrators are good, while at the same time striving for real checks and balances to handle the truly bad ones who influence their school system negatively. PTA certainly does not serve that role, and yes, I have supported the PTA annually with volunteer hours and membership funds like most moms in our area.

The same 'ole "stay connected" answer does not begin to address the lack of healthy oversight needed. Our school system has been in the papers repeatedly (without my help--my boys both have had articles written about their accomplishments, but other than that I've had little to do with the way things are handled here). In our district we have had highly reputable coaches fired as scapegoats to hide the lack of fiscal responsibility from school administrators--the truth eventually came out with the help of a few parents and a dedicated reporter but not until after these dedicated coaches and their families were harmed and humiliated in the process.

We have been the laughingstock of the nation when our school board railroaded the teachers into two programs they nor the parents wanted. Again, a few parents and the same reporter stepped in--one program was stopped before it cost us billions; the truth of the other did not come in time. That program went through as planned, only to have to be undone when better heads prevailed--and again we were the talk of the nation. And most recently, we had a senator push through a bill that slapped the hands of our Ethics Board and an Administrator who helped a student who was mistreated by a teacher. It will be years before we are able to address the overall outcome of that decision to once again bulldoze any entity that attempts to provide checks and balances.

We currently have a teacher in our system who has manhandled and verbally abused children for years and a subsequent parent who is trying to push policy that will provide the same help hotline for this type of abuse as is provided for abuse by parents or students. She and the students could sure use a parent organization behind her.

No system works well without checks and balances. What I was probing was the logistics of forming something useful at the local level. This is a goal shared by many, including those of us (parents, teachers, school officials, etc.) who are in the mainstream. I would still be interested in seeing that question probed for an effective answer.

Thank you,
Susan

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Dear Susan,

I appreciate what you are saying, but someone who seems as dialed in to what is going on in your district shouldn't have as much of a challenge organizing as you seem to. And I'll say it again...it is much easier to work within the system than to be a group that agitates from the outside. Forming a group will give you a big voice but not much real power.

So I'll try and answer your original question one more time. If you are as connected to and respected in the community as you seem to be, what is stopping you from making some contacts with those you do know and having it spread out like the branches of a tree? In communities like the one you're describing, two who get two who get two make for the strongest organizations. Labor intensive, yes; but is it worth the effort? You seem to have the energy for it!

I do not have any special knowledge on the subject you're asking about. There could be some national or state advocacy groups that have similar agendas to yours. It might be worth an online search with some key words such as "education," "advocacy group," and the name of your state that will help you find such an organization. Try other key words that seem to reflect what you're looking for.

I also have one idea you might find crazy: run for a spot on your local Board of Education. I do know of a district that has a Board of Ed member who butts heads repeatedly with her colleagues and school administration. She's unlikely to win any popularity contests but she has been a huge help in making changes to the oversight and fiscal policies of her district. She's also been re-elected twice.

Bottom line, Susan: the checks and balances you seek are built into the system. Some stakeholders manipulate them better than others, but they still exist. Use your passion, energy and intelligence to find them.

Best of Luck,
Larry Hochman
The Guidance Guy

Dear Guidance Guy,

You responded to a parent's problem by asking her whether she was willing to organize a parent's group to address the problem. How do you do that? We don't have class lists with contact information for other parents. We do have teenagers who wouldn't think of giving out private info on classmates or dream of having "mom" contact anyone. We don't have responsive administrators (they blindly support the teacher in all matters), school board members (some of our school board members blatantly show their hatred for parents), or an effective superintendent or ethics board.

All the facts in the world will only count if we go to the press. That's the only time change is even considered. So we suffer through and horrible teachers keep getting paid the same as great ones while our elected officials keep supplying these bad apples with more and more power. Parents are left with nothing but the press.

How do you organize? PTA/PTSA are fund raising bureaucracies; they are so not interested in student problems. Rate My Teachers is great, but we still need a way to contact one another and go in numbers to address real problems.

Susan

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Dear Susan,

Your letter makes a lot of assumptions about how your school and its Parent Teacher Association functions. While there may be a lot of truth to what your saying it's also true that holding these opinions is going to make it difficult for you to see anything else. Going to the press may bring attention to whatever problems you're experiencing, but it automatically creates an adversarial situation between you and others.

I'll answer your question first. There are lots of ways to make informal contacts that can become more structured when the time is right. If you have some specific concerns that people can rally around the old "two who get two, who get two," etc. can become a significant number pretty quickly. That's one way to get recognition. Sporting events, clubs, even PTA meetings are ways to network and find like minded parents. Of course this means you will need to work within the mainstream school activities to get this started.

Now...without knowing the circumstances of the issues you're experiencing, I find it hard to believe there are no ways to positively affect the quality of education. I suggest starting with a specific issue you'd like to address - then seeing what YOU can do to help improve it. Is there something with instruction or curriculum you can help with? Many schools have parent committees that deal with particular challenges they're having. Volunteering a few hours a week in an office or classroom will help you to see the school more clearly, and be a way for the powers that be to see you as a valued resource with something to contribute.

I suggest finding a way to work within the system and using the press as a last resort. Let the system work for you and your child as much as possible. If you do feel the need to go to the press your own peace of mind - and credibility with others - will be stronger.

Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy