The Guidance Guy Advice Column

Dear Guidance Guy,

I need your advice about how to act around a certain teacher. Last year, this teacher was ABSOLUTELY nice to me. I was her teacher's pet...end of story. She TOTALLY liked me as a student, complimenting me and saying that she wished I was in all of her classes. However, now she categorizes my "group" as obnoxious, rude, mean, and out of control. She despises me, when last year she almost WORSHIPPED me.

At first, I tried to ignore this teacher. Then, she started acting nicely to me, so I acted nice back (well...I'm human!) Then, she started to act nice to these really snobby girls, and my friends and I were just a distant memory to her. We didn't exist - It was like "Oh...who are you? Do I know you?" when last year she said, "I wish people could be more like
you...so nice, understanding, mature, and compassionate." Sometimes I feel bad for her when she can't get my class to be quiet. But then again, it sort of serves her right for acting so stubborn, hypocritical, and two-faced, doesn't
it? I don't know how to act around her.

Now, I completely ignore her, laugh and talk throughout her entire class, and only participate when I have to. She
doesn't care, but sometimes she gives me a look, saying, "Why don't you like me anymore?? I'm depending on you to answer my questions so I look like a good teacher!!" But I don't reply. I want to ask, "Why do you hate me this year? I
guess I'm not young enough, cute enough, or cool enough." Soo...how am I supposed to act when I have her class??

Signed,
Freaky Face

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Dear Freaky Face,

When you ask how you're supposed to act when you have her class, you're saying what the problem is: you're not supposed to "act" like anything. You're supposed to be yourself. I'm sensing a competition between your friends and another group of kids, and it seems like your teacher may be playing along as well. If you want to find out what has changed from last year to this year, ask your teacher!

What I suggest is making an appointment to see her after class when no one else is around. Tell her how you feel - which is very different from what you think she's doing. If you accuse her of acting differently or playing favorites with the other crowd, she'll just get defensive and nothing will get fixed. I do think you're making a lot of assumptions. What makes you think your teacher thinks anything about how young or cute you are? And what makes you think she's looking to you to make her look good. If and when you do talk with her, it's a good idea to put those assumptions aside.

And I'd recommend improving your behavior in her class. If you're deliberately ignoring, talking over and generally disrespcting her, it will be hard for her to have much sympathy for how you feel, no matter who started what. It's the old "two wrongs don't make a right" thing. Try having an adult conversation with her that communicates respect. I think that's your best bet for having a better experience in her class.

Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy