Thursday, April 26, 2007
Telling Off A Terrible Teacher
Dear Guidance Guy,
All year I've been stuggling with a teacher. Not with grades, because I flourish in the subject matter, but with the personality. She treats everybody badly, and has a false sense of superiority. She's even upset some teachers, to the point at which they questioned whether they could deal another day with her. Is there anything I can do? I have 2 or 3 months left in that school, and I can't sit by and watch her act like that. I feel I'm one of the top students in her class; my averages were high mid-to-high 90's and even a 100 for each report card.
With three months left in the school I feel that I have to do something about her. I want to do something, but can't think of anything I can do, except that near the last days I'll ever see her, I'll tell her exactly what I think of her. It won't be nice, I understand the consequences, but her knowing that one of her top students hates her, along with the other ones who say nothing, might make her see something in who she is. Any other ideas?
Angry Achiever
*** *** ***
Dear Angry,
I certainly understand the frustration of having to spend a school year with someone doesn't match personalities with you, especially when they're in a position of authority. It must be very tempting to say something that will make you feel better (temporarily) and even the score. You also know this is not the right path to take, or else you wouldn't have written to me. If she is as unpleasant as you say she is, do you think she'll really take the hint and be a better teacher because you say something unkind to her? Or will she just rearrange it in her mind as one more disrespectful, ungrateful student?
Now, what happens if you can see through the bitterness she has now and realize there's a really good person trapped inside the unhappiness? What happens if at the end of the year you walk up to her, shake her hand, wish her a good summer, and mean it? You identify yourself as a classy and mature young adult. And she gets to break free of the idea that everyone hates her. NOTHING is more effective at making mean people nice than showing some appreciation. Many of them get so little of it they become emotional when someone treats them well.
So ask yourself who you really are, and what kind of person you'd like to be. And ask yourself how you affect this woman by how you respond at the end of the year. Trust your best instincts. I'm sure you'll do the right thing.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
All year I've been stuggling with a teacher. Not with grades, because I flourish in the subject matter, but with the personality. She treats everybody badly, and has a false sense of superiority. She's even upset some teachers, to the point at which they questioned whether they could deal another day with her. Is there anything I can do? I have 2 or 3 months left in that school, and I can't sit by and watch her act like that. I feel I'm one of the top students in her class; my averages were high mid-to-high 90's and even a 100 for each report card.
With three months left in the school I feel that I have to do something about her. I want to do something, but can't think of anything I can do, except that near the last days I'll ever see her, I'll tell her exactly what I think of her. It won't be nice, I understand the consequences, but her knowing that one of her top students hates her, along with the other ones who say nothing, might make her see something in who she is. Any other ideas?
Angry Achiever
*** *** ***
Dear Angry,
I certainly understand the frustration of having to spend a school year with someone doesn't match personalities with you, especially when they're in a position of authority. It must be very tempting to say something that will make you feel better (temporarily) and even the score. You also know this is not the right path to take, or else you wouldn't have written to me. If she is as unpleasant as you say she is, do you think she'll really take the hint and be a better teacher because you say something unkind to her? Or will she just rearrange it in her mind as one more disrespectful, ungrateful student?
Now, what happens if you can see through the bitterness she has now and realize there's a really good person trapped inside the unhappiness? What happens if at the end of the year you walk up to her, shake her hand, wish her a good summer, and mean it? You identify yourself as a classy and mature young adult. And she gets to break free of the idea that everyone hates her. NOTHING is more effective at making mean people nice than showing some appreciation. Many of them get so little of it they become emotional when someone treats them well.
So ask yourself who you really are, and what kind of person you'd like to be. And ask yourself how you affect this woman by how you respond at the end of the year. Trust your best instincts. I'm sure you'll do the right thing.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 5:37 PM
