Sunday, April 15, 2007
Teachers DON'T Control What You Think Of Yourself
Dear Guidance Guy,
I have this teacher who is very different than any other teacher in my school. He is always insulting people and making them feel really mad at themselves. Today at my table someone raised there hand and he said, "don't touch me, I don't know were you've been." Then he said to this other girl, "ya'll need to study." Then she asked why and he said, "do you really want me to tell you why in front of the whole class?" She shook her head no, but he said it any way. "Well I'm going to say it anyway, because your grades are the worst in the class." She started crying and he didn't say a word to her. Luckily, she got to switch teachers. One day I asked him if we were having a test and he said, "you might as well be blonde!" Please help me!
Dancer
*** *** ***
Dear Dancer,
Nearly every teacher I know is a great person. They love kids and want to do their very best, even if they sometimes mess up. Your teacher may have started out like that. Based on what you're saying, he's become bitter and mean.
No person, whether it's a teacher, parent, best friend or anyone else has the power to make you feel mad at yourself. The only way that happens is if you let it. You know the problem is this teacher's behavior and attitude, so there is no reason he has to control how you feel about yourself. You can be mad, disappointed, frustrated, anything else you want. But those feelings should be directed at him, not against yourself. And the same is true for all of his other students.
If you would like to address this with him, you can let him know how his comments make you feel. But there is a difference in power between him and you, and something tells me he wouldn't be a very good listener to what you have to say. If you haven't brought this up to your parents yet, this might be a good time. If not them, a principal or guidance counselor would be good also. Be very clear on what he said. The exact words are important.
Dancer, the actual problem with this teacher may not get solved. What seems to be more important is knowing how good and worthwhile you are, no matter what an unfortunately ignorant teacher thinks of you.
Your Pal,
The Guidance Guy
I have this teacher who is very different than any other teacher in my school. He is always insulting people and making them feel really mad at themselves. Today at my table someone raised there hand and he said, "don't touch me, I don't know were you've been." Then he said to this other girl, "ya'll need to study." Then she asked why and he said, "do you really want me to tell you why in front of the whole class?" She shook her head no, but he said it any way. "Well I'm going to say it anyway, because your grades are the worst in the class." She started crying and he didn't say a word to her. Luckily, she got to switch teachers. One day I asked him if we were having a test and he said, "you might as well be blonde!" Please help me!
Dancer
*** *** ***
Dear Dancer,
Nearly every teacher I know is a great person. They love kids and want to do their very best, even if they sometimes mess up. Your teacher may have started out like that. Based on what you're saying, he's become bitter and mean.
No person, whether it's a teacher, parent, best friend or anyone else has the power to make you feel mad at yourself. The only way that happens is if you let it. You know the problem is this teacher's behavior and attitude, so there is no reason he has to control how you feel about yourself. You can be mad, disappointed, frustrated, anything else you want. But those feelings should be directed at him, not against yourself. And the same is true for all of his other students.
If you would like to address this with him, you can let him know how his comments make you feel. But there is a difference in power between him and you, and something tells me he wouldn't be a very good listener to what you have to say. If you haven't brought this up to your parents yet, this might be a good time. If not them, a principal or guidance counselor would be good also. Be very clear on what he said. The exact words are important.
Dancer, the actual problem with this teacher may not get solved. What seems to be more important is knowing how good and worthwhile you are, no matter what an unfortunately ignorant teacher thinks of you.
Your Pal,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 6:43 PM
