Thursday, January 04, 2007
A Secret Divorce
Dear Guidance Guy,
My parents have been planning to get a divorce for a while. My dad moved out about 6 months ago. I'm not too shook up about them getting a divorce. My problem is that they haven't told me and my sister. I know that they are getting a divorce because I saw it in the newspaper (they have to post who gets married/divorced/has kids in our area, not sure if that's true in all states.). I have also overheard my parents talking about divorce settlements and seen letters from their attorney's lying around.
Do you think that they are trying to let me and my sister figure out on our own? I would like to ask them about it but I don't know how to bring it up without getting in trouble for snooping. I know it was wrong for me to be listening to them talk or look at their papers without permission no matter how open the information was. Help!!!
Karin.
Age 14
*** *** ***
Dear Karin,
I don't know what your mother or father are thinking. They might be so nervous about telling you that they haven't done it yet. Or they might be so caught up in the details of the divorce - and their feelings about it - that they didn't think to tell you. I doubt they are deliberately trying to let you and your sister figure it out by yourselves.
Whatever mistake you may have made about looking at private papers, I think your parents are making a bigger mistake in not telling you what's happening. I don't see anything wrong with asking one or both of them what's happening. You don't even have to tell them about the papers you saw. You saw it in the newspaper, which isn't private. You are entitled to some answers. And I'm glad you aren't too shook up over it.
Best Of Luck,
The Guidance Guy
My parents have been planning to get a divorce for a while. My dad moved out about 6 months ago. I'm not too shook up about them getting a divorce. My problem is that they haven't told me and my sister. I know that they are getting a divorce because I saw it in the newspaper (they have to post who gets married/divorced/has kids in our area, not sure if that's true in all states.). I have also overheard my parents talking about divorce settlements and seen letters from their attorney's lying around.
Do you think that they are trying to let me and my sister figure out on our own? I would like to ask them about it but I don't know how to bring it up without getting in trouble for snooping. I know it was wrong for me to be listening to them talk or look at their papers without permission no matter how open the information was. Help!!!
Karin.
Age 14
*** *** ***
Dear Karin,
I don't know what your mother or father are thinking. They might be so nervous about telling you that they haven't done it yet. Or they might be so caught up in the details of the divorce - and their feelings about it - that they didn't think to tell you. I doubt they are deliberately trying to let you and your sister figure it out by yourselves.
Whatever mistake you may have made about looking at private papers, I think your parents are making a bigger mistake in not telling you what's happening. I don't see anything wrong with asking one or both of them what's happening. You don't even have to tell them about the papers you saw. You saw it in the newspaper, which isn't private. You are entitled to some answers. And I'm glad you aren't too shook up over it.
Best Of Luck,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 5:05 PM
