Thursday, January 04, 2007
A Disease Called Alcoholism
Dear Guidance Guy,
I don't think I can live with my mum anymore. I really can't. She blames me for everything, drinks a lot and takes it out on Dad. We got SKY plus yesterday and just as it was set up she asked Dad to go buy her a bottle of vodka, she'd already had 3 bottles over Christmas.
It gets worse, I arrived at a party and she turns up drunk out of her mind, with half a bottle of vodka in her hand. Shouting and all that. Just as a guy started to introduce himself she turned around and said, "Kirsty dddoesn'tttt likeee boooysss withh that nammmeee, herrr exxx boyfriend was callleeddd Kiirkk,
"I'm getting REALLY annoyed, I have no idea what to do. Help!
Kirsty
*** *** ***
Dear Kirsty,
Your mother has a disease. It's called alcoholism. She is physically addicted to alcohol. All of the information you gave me shows she has it, and badly.
You have only one job here, and that is to take care of yourself. I want to make this clear to you (and anyone else who has an alcoholic parent)...it is NOT your job to help your parent get better. They have to make that choice for themselves, then get help, then get a group of people who will support them as they recover from their disease.
I noticed from your email address you are in England. There are many groups that support children of alcoholics. In the United States the most well-known group is called Alanon, or Alateen (for teenagers). I'm sure there is a similar group in the U.K. Someone at school can probably give you information about getting in touch with them.
Your father looks like he doesn't know how to handle this either, since he's buying the vodka she is poisoning herself with. If you feel unsafe - either physically or emotionally - get yourself somewhere where you are secure. Again, someone from school can help with this.
Kristy, the most important thing to know is that your mother isn't trying to hurt you. She has a problem that she doesn't know how to control. This is the alcohol talking, not the mother who loves you. When she recovers she will have a lot of guilt over what happened. It will be wonderful when you can forgive her, and she can forgive herself.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
I don't think I can live with my mum anymore. I really can't. She blames me for everything, drinks a lot and takes it out on Dad. We got SKY plus yesterday and just as it was set up she asked Dad to go buy her a bottle of vodka, she'd already had 3 bottles over Christmas.
It gets worse, I arrived at a party and she turns up drunk out of her mind, with half a bottle of vodka in her hand. Shouting and all that. Just as a guy started to introduce himself she turned around and said, "Kirsty dddoesn'tttt likeee boooysss withh that nammmeee, herrr exxx boyfriend was callleeddd Kiirkk,
"I'm getting REALLY annoyed, I have no idea what to do. Help!
Kirsty
*** *** ***
Dear Kirsty,
Your mother has a disease. It's called alcoholism. She is physically addicted to alcohol. All of the information you gave me shows she has it, and badly.
You have only one job here, and that is to take care of yourself. I want to make this clear to you (and anyone else who has an alcoholic parent)...it is NOT your job to help your parent get better. They have to make that choice for themselves, then get help, then get a group of people who will support them as they recover from their disease.
I noticed from your email address you are in England. There are many groups that support children of alcoholics. In the United States the most well-known group is called Alanon, or Alateen (for teenagers). I'm sure there is a similar group in the U.K. Someone at school can probably give you information about getting in touch with them.
Your father looks like he doesn't know how to handle this either, since he's buying the vodka she is poisoning herself with. If you feel unsafe - either physically or emotionally - get yourself somewhere where you are secure. Again, someone from school can help with this.
Kristy, the most important thing to know is that your mother isn't trying to hurt you. She has a problem that she doesn't know how to control. This is the alcohol talking, not the mother who loves you. When she recovers she will have a lot of guilt over what happened. It will be wonderful when you can forgive her, and she can forgive herself.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 4:46 PM
