Thursday, January 18, 2007
Changing Friend
Dear Guidance Guy,
I have been friends with this person Abby for years. We have both changed a lot since we met, mainly in a good way. However I have noticed that she is turning into a kind of bad person. I know it's bad to say that about my friend but it's true.
She always has to have her way, and when I don't agree with her, or offer other ideas to do she either blows it off or tell me it's a stupid idea. She swears like every other word, and ignores me whenever I try and talk to in school. It's like she only wants to be my friend in private. She never stands up for me either. She calls me retarded and gay (which I am neither of these) Plus she talks trash a lot about her other friends behind their back to me, and it makes me wonder if she talks about me to them.
Sometimes she's nice though and I have been friends with her for many years. Now I am just confused what to do. Do I just quit being her friend or what?
Emily
P.S.- When ever I tell her how I feel she calls me names - so talking won't work!
*** *** ***
Dear Emily,
As kids become teens all kinds of unusual things happen. Part of it is hormones taking over their bodies. And yes, this can have a BIG effect on behavior. It may be you're seeing some of this with your friend right now. I don't think you have to quit being her friend. But it is important for you to be in a place where you feel good and emotionally safe. Right now it doesn't look like your friend is ready to be there for you. It may just be a phase she's going through or it may be the way her personality is developing as she gets older.
Whatever it is, it's your choice how to deal with it. If you need to put some distance between the two of you and get closer to some other people, it would seem like a normal way for things to go. If she asks, you can tell her whatever you want. I recommend the truth.
Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy
I have been friends with this person Abby for years. We have both changed a lot since we met, mainly in a good way. However I have noticed that she is turning into a kind of bad person. I know it's bad to say that about my friend but it's true.
She always has to have her way, and when I don't agree with her, or offer other ideas to do she either blows it off or tell me it's a stupid idea. She swears like every other word, and ignores me whenever I try and talk to in school. It's like she only wants to be my friend in private. She never stands up for me either. She calls me retarded and gay (which I am neither of these) Plus she talks trash a lot about her other friends behind their back to me, and it makes me wonder if she talks about me to them.
Sometimes she's nice though and I have been friends with her for many years. Now I am just confused what to do. Do I just quit being her friend or what?
Emily
P.S.- When ever I tell her how I feel she calls me names - so talking won't work!
*** *** ***
Dear Emily,
As kids become teens all kinds of unusual things happen. Part of it is hormones taking over their bodies. And yes, this can have a BIG effect on behavior. It may be you're seeing some of this with your friend right now. I don't think you have to quit being her friend. But it is important for you to be in a place where you feel good and emotionally safe. Right now it doesn't look like your friend is ready to be there for you. It may just be a phase she's going through or it may be the way her personality is developing as she gets older.
Whatever it is, it's your choice how to deal with it. If you need to put some distance between the two of you and get closer to some other people, it would seem like a normal way for things to go. If she asks, you can tell her whatever you want. I recommend the truth.
Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 2:33 PM
