Thursday, December 14, 2006
A Difficult Situation
Dear Guidance Guy,
I'm really confused right now. I really don't like my school and I am thinking of going somewhere else next year but my friends don't think I should. I'm having a hard time because my best friend just moved away and I am constantly fighting with my mom. I'm not doing so well in school and I have recently had urges to rebel against my Mom just to tick her off. I don't want to lose her trust but I feel too confined because she's so overprotective. Also, my Dad and Mom never agree on things so it's hard going back and forth between two houses with extremely different rules.
To make matters worse, my "friend" has also been calling me horrible names behind my back and spilling my secrets. I hate my life right now and I don't know whatto do. I just want everything to go back to the way it was last year. I want my best friend back. It seems like she's the only person who I can talk to and feel understood.
Confused Girl
*** *** ***
Dear Confused Girl,
You did a very good job talking about your problems in a grown up way. So I'm going to give you advice that a mature young woman can understand.
Parents who live in different houses and have different rules can be a real challenge for kids, as I'm sure you already know. One of the best ways to deal with your mother is to talk with her when no one is mad at anyone else. Ask for an appointment at the kitchen table or somewhere you don't usually fight. You can even get a few dollars together and take her out for a cup of coffee. Then tell her how you feel...all of it. Be ready to listen to what she has to say and come to a deal you can both live with. I'm sure she's under a lot of stress herself and will be grateful to talk to her daughter who is growing up!
As for your friend, there is no such thing as things going back to the way they were. People are always changing, and things change right along with them. Your friend is saying and doing things that are obviously not good for you, and that trust may be gone forever. The good news is that there will be other people in your life who can be there for you, listen to you and respect you. The key will be to be happy with yourself first, because this is how you will attract good people into your life. Sad and angry people usually bring other sad and angry people along for the ride. Fair or not, it's the truth.
Here's some more good news...I have no doubt you will be able to take care of yourself and find a way to be happy, even in this bad situation. So the chances of you getting some better friends is very good. All you have to do is be yourself. The right people will come along and the wrong people will fade away.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
I'm really confused right now. I really don't like my school and I am thinking of going somewhere else next year but my friends don't think I should. I'm having a hard time because my best friend just moved away and I am constantly fighting with my mom. I'm not doing so well in school and I have recently had urges to rebel against my Mom just to tick her off. I don't want to lose her trust but I feel too confined because she's so overprotective. Also, my Dad and Mom never agree on things so it's hard going back and forth between two houses with extremely different rules.
To make matters worse, my "friend" has also been calling me horrible names behind my back and spilling my secrets. I hate my life right now and I don't know whatto do. I just want everything to go back to the way it was last year. I want my best friend back. It seems like she's the only person who I can talk to and feel understood.
Confused Girl
*** *** ***
Dear Confused Girl,
You did a very good job talking about your problems in a grown up way. So I'm going to give you advice that a mature young woman can understand.
Parents who live in different houses and have different rules can be a real challenge for kids, as I'm sure you already know. One of the best ways to deal with your mother is to talk with her when no one is mad at anyone else. Ask for an appointment at the kitchen table or somewhere you don't usually fight. You can even get a few dollars together and take her out for a cup of coffee. Then tell her how you feel...all of it. Be ready to listen to what she has to say and come to a deal you can both live with. I'm sure she's under a lot of stress herself and will be grateful to talk to her daughter who is growing up!
As for your friend, there is no such thing as things going back to the way they were. People are always changing, and things change right along with them. Your friend is saying and doing things that are obviously not good for you, and that trust may be gone forever. The good news is that there will be other people in your life who can be there for you, listen to you and respect you. The key will be to be happy with yourself first, because this is how you will attract good people into your life. Sad and angry people usually bring other sad and angry people along for the ride. Fair or not, it's the truth.
Here's some more good news...I have no doubt you will be able to take care of yourself and find a way to be happy, even in this bad situation. So the chances of you getting some better friends is very good. All you have to do is be yourself. The right people will come along and the wrong people will fade away.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 2:56 PM
