Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Confused Chic
Dear Guidance Guy,
There is this guy that I really like at school and he really likes me too (he told me) but he also sometimes is really rude to me and I don't know why. His friend told me I was acting too much like my friend. He hates her but I don't know what I am doing wrong. What confuses me most is that when he is around her they act all like best friends and he is rude to me but when she is not around he acts really nice and says he is sorry for being rude. My friends think he is going crazy but I don't know.
Also I have said a million times that I don't like him but only two people know that I really do. This has been going on since September!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Confused Chic
*** *** ***
Dear Confused,
There seems to be two problems here. The first is that this guy is immature and hasn't figured out the best way to act around a young woman he likes. Like many other young men, he wants to be seen as cool in front of his friends. And one of the ways to be seen as cool is to act rude in front of someone he likes. As you already know, it doesn't work.
And that leads into the second problem. You have been willing to accept his behavior and not tell him it's unacceptable. There is no need for you to be confused. All you need to do is stand up for yourself. You deserve to be treated special. But if you don't insist on it, he's going to keep playing this game. And you will keep getting confused and think something might be wrong with you.
One other thing...you don't need to tell anyone how you feel about him. It's your business, not anyone else's. Making relationships a spectator sport for your friends isn't going to help the two of you. It will just make things more confusing. Keep this between the two of you and see where it goes.
Your Pal,
The Guidance Guy
There is this guy that I really like at school and he really likes me too (he told me) but he also sometimes is really rude to me and I don't know why. His friend told me I was acting too much like my friend. He hates her but I don't know what I am doing wrong. What confuses me most is that when he is around her they act all like best friends and he is rude to me but when she is not around he acts really nice and says he is sorry for being rude. My friends think he is going crazy but I don't know.
Also I have said a million times that I don't like him but only two people know that I really do. This has been going on since September!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Confused Chic
*** *** ***
Dear Confused,
There seems to be two problems here. The first is that this guy is immature and hasn't figured out the best way to act around a young woman he likes. Like many other young men, he wants to be seen as cool in front of his friends. And one of the ways to be seen as cool is to act rude in front of someone he likes. As you already know, it doesn't work.
And that leads into the second problem. You have been willing to accept his behavior and not tell him it's unacceptable. There is no need for you to be confused. All you need to do is stand up for yourself. You deserve to be treated special. But if you don't insist on it, he's going to keep playing this game. And you will keep getting confused and think something might be wrong with you.
One other thing...you don't need to tell anyone how you feel about him. It's your business, not anyone else's. Making relationships a spectator sport for your friends isn't going to help the two of you. It will just make things more confusing. Keep this between the two of you and see where it goes.
Your Pal,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 2:51 PM
