Friday, December 29, 2006
Am I Gay?
Dear Guidance Guy,
I have this slight problem that I've been going through for a while.
I'm slightly confused about my sexuality. Many people have told me that you are born with your sexuality and that no matter what, you are going to be who you are, however, I have also been told that it's your choice whether you want to be homosexual or not.
I've thought about it long and hard and I've come to the conclusion that I want to be gay, but there is no way I could come out to anyone. I really don't want to hide the biggest secret of them all from my family and closest friends, but I don't want to come out because I'm scared that they'll think of me different and not treat me like they used to.
Changing Colors
*** *** ***
Dear Changing,
There are lots of different opinions about whether someone is born with a straight or gay sexuality. My opinion is that you are born with a likelihood to be either straight or gay. I think it's genetic, although many things about lifestyle are by choice. But if you aren't true to who you really are, it will be difficult to be happy, no matter what choices you make.
I'm going to be very cautious about giving you advice on talking to your family. I don't know them or how they would react. It does sound like you could use someone to talk with about this. Many schools have Gay/Straight Alliance clubs, and that might be a good start. The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network keeps a list of schools that have a chapter. They are also a great organization to learn about issues involving gay teens. Check with www.glsen.org to see if your school is registered.
You said in your letter you're scared they'll think of you different and not treat you like they used to. To me that means they think of you and treat you well now. They must love you, and it's very hard for a parent to stop loving their child. I don't want to tell you what to do, but it's a good sign if things are going well now. Something tells me you're going to come out of this just fine.
Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy
I have this slight problem that I've been going through for a while.
I'm slightly confused about my sexuality. Many people have told me that you are born with your sexuality and that no matter what, you are going to be who you are, however, I have also been told that it's your choice whether you want to be homosexual or not.
I've thought about it long and hard and I've come to the conclusion that I want to be gay, but there is no way I could come out to anyone. I really don't want to hide the biggest secret of them all from my family and closest friends, but I don't want to come out because I'm scared that they'll think of me different and not treat me like they used to.
Changing Colors
*** *** ***
Dear Changing,
There are lots of different opinions about whether someone is born with a straight or gay sexuality. My opinion is that you are born with a likelihood to be either straight or gay. I think it's genetic, although many things about lifestyle are by choice. But if you aren't true to who you really are, it will be difficult to be happy, no matter what choices you make.
I'm going to be very cautious about giving you advice on talking to your family. I don't know them or how they would react. It does sound like you could use someone to talk with about this. Many schools have Gay/Straight Alliance clubs, and that might be a good start. The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network keeps a list of schools that have a chapter. They are also a great organization to learn about issues involving gay teens. Check with www.glsen.org to see if your school is registered.
You said in your letter you're scared they'll think of you different and not treat you like they used to. To me that means they think of you and treat you well now. They must love you, and it's very hard for a parent to stop loving their child. I don't want to tell you what to do, but it's a good sign if things are going well now. Something tells me you're going to come out of this just fine.
Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 7:13 AM
