Friday, November 10, 2006
Is Text Messaging With The Student-Teacher OK?
Dear Guidance Guy,
I'm a 15 year old girl, and a couple of months ago a student teacher came to my school for about six months to study teaching while he was attending university. We became really close, he was 21 and I was 14 at the time. We started texting each other, the texts were 100% clean and just friendly banter. But I really liked him as more than a friend and i think he liked me too. But one day the police found out about the texts and told my school and his university. He got a formal warning and he hasn't spoken to me since.
Did I do something wrong? And is it so wrong that we were texting each other? He wasn't a permanent teacher he was a student teacher just doing his work experience in my school.
Thanks,
Anonymous
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Dear Anonymous,
Your student teacher may have been a nice guy, but he made a serious mistake in judgement when he started text messaging you. He was at your school to study teaching, not to start friendships with the students. Professionally, it was a bad idea for him to step beyond his role. He should be making friends at his university, not in the school where there are younger people. If I were the parent of one of the students there (boy or girl) and I found out about the messages, I'd be very upset.
Did you do something wrong? No, you didn't. You were enjoying a relationship with someone who was friendly and attractive to you. The fault is with the student teacher. They are told in their training to be careful about having inappropriate relationships with students, and this was one of them. Even though nothing physical happened and the messages were "clean" you were attracted to him. And you think he felt the same way. So this was going in a direction that would have been bad for everyone. A 21 year old with a position of power (including student teacher) can easily manipulate a younger person. This could have ended very badly.
And that's the message I want you and everyone else to get. Trust your instincts. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't.
Thanks for an important letter,
The Guidance Guy
I'm a 15 year old girl, and a couple of months ago a student teacher came to my school for about six months to study teaching while he was attending university. We became really close, he was 21 and I was 14 at the time. We started texting each other, the texts were 100% clean and just friendly banter. But I really liked him as more than a friend and i think he liked me too. But one day the police found out about the texts and told my school and his university. He got a formal warning and he hasn't spoken to me since.
Did I do something wrong? And is it so wrong that we were texting each other? He wasn't a permanent teacher he was a student teacher just doing his work experience in my school.
Thanks,
Anonymous
*** *** ***
Dear Anonymous,
Your student teacher may have been a nice guy, but he made a serious mistake in judgement when he started text messaging you. He was at your school to study teaching, not to start friendships with the students. Professionally, it was a bad idea for him to step beyond his role. He should be making friends at his university, not in the school where there are younger people. If I were the parent of one of the students there (boy or girl) and I found out about the messages, I'd be very upset.
Did you do something wrong? No, you didn't. You were enjoying a relationship with someone who was friendly and attractive to you. The fault is with the student teacher. They are told in their training to be careful about having inappropriate relationships with students, and this was one of them. Even though nothing physical happened and the messages were "clean" you were attracted to him. And you think he felt the same way. So this was going in a direction that would have been bad for everyone. A 21 year old with a position of power (including student teacher) can easily manipulate a younger person. This could have ended very badly.
And that's the message I want you and everyone else to get. Trust your instincts. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't.
Thanks for an important letter,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 7:28 AM
