Monday, November 13, 2006
I Said No; Now I'm Being Harrassed.
Dear Guidance Guy,
This guy at my school asked me to the homecoming dance, but I said no, because I am not allowed to go with a date. Now, he and his best friend call my name when they are behind me in the hallway, and if I turn around they act like nothing happened. If I ignore them, they do it more and giggle when I don't respond. This happened about 10 times in one day. When I kept ignoring them, one of them called me a b**** when he walked by. And, we're all 16, so this is just ridiculous.
I was really mad, so I told one of my teachers, and I think she reported them. I don't know, though, if I should say anything to them in addition to that. I was going to today, but then I changed my mind. What do you think?
Angry
*** *** ***
Dear Angry,
If the problem you had is gone - they aren't harrassing you anymore - I'd leave it alone. You got part of what you wanted. If they still say things or do things that aren't cool, I'd take it directly to whomever is in charge of discipline. There are two of them and one of you, so this isn't a great situation to deal with person to person. This is turning into a bullying situation and you need to work with the people who are supposed to protect you.
The reason I say you got PART of what you wanted is because you are angry, and that probably won't go away as quickly as these meatheads saying things to you. You did all the right things when this started. One choice could have been to confront the person who started it directly and assertively tell him to stop. If he's with his friend that's not an easy thing to do. So I think you handled it well. You're up against a couple of guys who have a lot of growing up to do. Realize that this isn't about you, this is about them. That should help take some of the anger away.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
This guy at my school asked me to the homecoming dance, but I said no, because I am not allowed to go with a date. Now, he and his best friend call my name when they are behind me in the hallway, and if I turn around they act like nothing happened. If I ignore them, they do it more and giggle when I don't respond. This happened about 10 times in one day. When I kept ignoring them, one of them called me a b**** when he walked by. And, we're all 16, so this is just ridiculous.
I was really mad, so I told one of my teachers, and I think she reported them. I don't know, though, if I should say anything to them in addition to that. I was going to today, but then I changed my mind. What do you think?
Angry
*** *** ***
Dear Angry,
If the problem you had is gone - they aren't harrassing you anymore - I'd leave it alone. You got part of what you wanted. If they still say things or do things that aren't cool, I'd take it directly to whomever is in charge of discipline. There are two of them and one of you, so this isn't a great situation to deal with person to person. This is turning into a bullying situation and you need to work with the people who are supposed to protect you.
The reason I say you got PART of what you wanted is because you are angry, and that probably won't go away as quickly as these meatheads saying things to you. You did all the right things when this started. One choice could have been to confront the person who started it directly and assertively tell him to stop. If he's with his friend that's not an easy thing to do. So I think you handled it well. You're up against a couple of guys who have a lot of growing up to do. Realize that this isn't about you, this is about them. That should help take some of the anger away.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 3:29 AM
