Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Fed Up And Upset
Dear Guidance Guy,
I have this problem with this guy who was in my class. This guy said me and my best friend kissed and that we're lesbians. And on top of it all another guy is calling me Emo. I'm tired of it and them. This has gone on since 3rd grade! Plus me and my friend aren't friends anymore and I really want to be her friend again! Please help me. I'm sooooooo desperate!
Fed Up And Upset
*** *** ***
Dear Fed Up,
The first thing I want you to do is take a slow, deep breath. You are upset, and it's coming out all over the place. I can practically FEEL it in your letter.
I'm not there, but I think the reason you're being targeted is because you're putting out signals of desperation. (That "I'm sooooo upset" comment was a dead giveaway.) Kids have a way of focusing in on other kids who are unhappy. It's almost like a magnet for peopel who want to be cruel. Who cares what this other guy thinks? If he wants to start rumors, you can make that his problem, not yours. And if you did kiss friend, that's your business, not his. And anyone who feels the need to feel important by calling someone else names like Emo - well, I wouldn't worry much about his opinion. The more you get upset, the more people will pick on you. It's a guarantee.
So that leaves you with a couple of choices. You can react to everything that everyone says about you and be at their mercy. Or you can decide right now NOT to be desperate and upset, but be happy with who you are right now. If you take the first choice, expect more of the same treatment. If you want to take a break from being upset for a while, think about some of the good things that are going on in your life. And don't you dare tell me there aren't any good things. The fact that you have a computer to email with and someone who is actually answering your email is a good start. Now it's your job to figure out some of the other good things.
Here's a secret you might not know. People who are happy usually attract other happy people into their lives. Same is true for people who are unhappy - they let other unhappy people in. What can you do that will make you feel better about yourself? Once you figure that out weird things will start happening and you'll find things starting to get better. It ALWAYS works that way.
Decide to stop being a victim. Decide you are a great person and anyone who doesn't see how great you are doesn't deserve your company. Even if it means being alone for a while, it has to be better than what you're going through now.
Best of Luck,The Guidance Guy
I have this problem with this guy who was in my class. This guy said me and my best friend kissed and that we're lesbians. And on top of it all another guy is calling me Emo. I'm tired of it and them. This has gone on since 3rd grade! Plus me and my friend aren't friends anymore and I really want to be her friend again! Please help me. I'm sooooooo desperate!
Fed Up And Upset
*** *** ***
Dear Fed Up,
The first thing I want you to do is take a slow, deep breath. You are upset, and it's coming out all over the place. I can practically FEEL it in your letter.
I'm not there, but I think the reason you're being targeted is because you're putting out signals of desperation. (That "I'm sooooo upset" comment was a dead giveaway.) Kids have a way of focusing in on other kids who are unhappy. It's almost like a magnet for peopel who want to be cruel. Who cares what this other guy thinks? If he wants to start rumors, you can make that his problem, not yours. And if you did kiss friend, that's your business, not his. And anyone who feels the need to feel important by calling someone else names like Emo - well, I wouldn't worry much about his opinion. The more you get upset, the more people will pick on you. It's a guarantee.
So that leaves you with a couple of choices. You can react to everything that everyone says about you and be at their mercy. Or you can decide right now NOT to be desperate and upset, but be happy with who you are right now. If you take the first choice, expect more of the same treatment. If you want to take a break from being upset for a while, think about some of the good things that are going on in your life. And don't you dare tell me there aren't any good things. The fact that you have a computer to email with and someone who is actually answering your email is a good start. Now it's your job to figure out some of the other good things.
Here's a secret you might not know. People who are happy usually attract other happy people into their lives. Same is true for people who are unhappy - they let other unhappy people in. What can you do that will make you feel better about yourself? Once you figure that out weird things will start happening and you'll find things starting to get better. It ALWAYS works that way.
Decide to stop being a victim. Decide you are a great person and anyone who doesn't see how great you are doesn't deserve your company. Even if it means being alone for a while, it has to be better than what you're going through now.
Best of Luck,The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 3:15 PM
