The Guidance Guy Advice Column

Dear Guidance Guy,

I broke up with my boyfriend in early June. We broke up because he was forcing me to do some stuff that I don't want to do. He loved me and I loved him, but I just had to break up with him. The problem is that every day since then he is still begging me to still go out with him. Even today! Should I go back with him or not? If I don't, how do I make him stop begging?

Mamaroneck, NY

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Dear Mamaroneck,

You broke up with your ex-boyfriend (he's not your boyfriend because you broke up four months ago) because you trusted your instincts. Something didn't feel right and you knew it. That was a good decision.

If you do go out with him again, I don't think it will be because you love him. I think it will be because you take pity on him or you feel forced into it by him begging. Neither of those are the start of a good relationship. And whatever it was he was forcing you to do, my guess is he will put pressure on you to do it again.

So of course my advice is not to go out with him again. Find a relationship that is based on trust, affection and respect, not begging or pressure.

The best way to make him stop begging is to gather up all your self-confidence and assertiveness and tell him your final answer about going back out with him is a permanent NO. Don't leave any room for doubt. Then tell him if he keeps asking you you'll consider it harassment. If you're not strong enough to do that yourself, have one of your parents deliver the message to him.

Trust me on this one - this is not the right guy for you. Find someone who you can love and respect, and will do the same for you.

Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy