Sunday, October 01, 2006
New Guy, Old Guy
Dear Gudiance Guy,
I have this friend named Jess and she and her boyfrined Bob just broke up. She made a bad move and told him she liked someone else and told him who it was. But now Bob has gone CRAZY and has started to harrass her and me, meaning talking to us and unecessary things. Now Joe (the new guy) has doubts about Jess and him. He has been
asked to the dance by a ton of girls but has only turned down a few.
I'm trying to help Jess but I don't know what to do.
Please help!
Lost Friend
*** *** ***
Dear Lost Friend,
There is nothing for you to do, other than protect yourself from harrassment. If Bob is doing or saying things that make you uncomfortable, be very clear with him that you want him to stop. Let your parents know exactly what is happening, and if it's happening in school, let a counselor or principal know as well.
As far as Jess' relationship issues, that is her problem to figure out on her own. You don't have a role in it. Some lessons we need to learn for ourselves. If SHE was writing to me, this is what I would say to her:
I can understand why Joe would have his doubts. Relationship like this are fun and exciting, but no one wants to hear themselves talked about. If Joe knows you were talking about Bob, he may be wondering if you were talking about him as well. Relationships are between two people. Any time you talk about them to someone else, you can expect them to get weaker.
If you like Joe, tell him. Then don't say anything to anyone else. If you're not serious about him, he has a right to do what he wants, including go to the dance with other girls.
Now, the important thing: make it clear to Bob you don't want to be harrassed. Then stop dealing with him completely. Move on to the next part of your life.
Good Luck,
The Guidance Guy
I have this friend named Jess and she and her boyfrined Bob just broke up. She made a bad move and told him she liked someone else and told him who it was. But now Bob has gone CRAZY and has started to harrass her and me, meaning talking to us and unecessary things. Now Joe (the new guy) has doubts about Jess and him. He has been
asked to the dance by a ton of girls but has only turned down a few.
I'm trying to help Jess but I don't know what to do.
Please help!
Lost Friend
*** *** ***
Dear Lost Friend,
There is nothing for you to do, other than protect yourself from harrassment. If Bob is doing or saying things that make you uncomfortable, be very clear with him that you want him to stop. Let your parents know exactly what is happening, and if it's happening in school, let a counselor or principal know as well.
As far as Jess' relationship issues, that is her problem to figure out on her own. You don't have a role in it. Some lessons we need to learn for ourselves. If SHE was writing to me, this is what I would say to her:
I can understand why Joe would have his doubts. Relationship like this are fun and exciting, but no one wants to hear themselves talked about. If Joe knows you were talking about Bob, he may be wondering if you were talking about him as well. Relationships are between two people. Any time you talk about them to someone else, you can expect them to get weaker.
If you like Joe, tell him. Then don't say anything to anyone else. If you're not serious about him, he has a right to do what he wants, including go to the dance with other girls.
Now, the important thing: make it clear to Bob you don't want to be harrassed. Then stop dealing with him completely. Move on to the next part of your life.
Good Luck,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 8:41 AM
