Friday, October 27, 2006
New At School And Feeling Alone
Dear Guidance Guy,
This year I am at a new school and I have trouble dealing with it. I have friends and I am doing well academically. The thing is that sometimes I feel loneliness andisolation from everyone. I guess it is because I am used to having my good friends by my side. I try to make an effort to fit in and try to be accepted by my peers, but I feel that I am invisible to everyone and that I do not belong at this school but my old one. What should I do? I would really appreciate it if you can help.
Isolated
*** *** ***
Dear Isolated,
It is completely normal and natural to feel a little lonely and isolated when you first get to a new school. Sometimes the kids at the new place are instantly friendly and welcoming, almost like you're a new "star" that just came into their building. But it doesn't usually work that way, especially if it's a big school.
What usually happens is that you find one or two people you have something in common with and a friendship just sort of gets going. From their you get introduced to other people and it branches out into a new group of friends. Joining clubs or activities with other kids who are interested in the same things you are will make it go quicker.
What I think might be happening with you is that you're trying too hard. When you say you're making an effort, I wonder if you're putting out signals of REALLY needing a friend. If there's too much tension around you, people will be a little bit nervous about trying to approach.
My advice is too just be happy with who and where you are right now. Don't worry about WHEN you'll be accepted. Just know that you are GOOD ENOUGH to be accepted. Having that kind of confidence in yourself, along with being open to meeting new people will get you the friends and acceptance you're looking for.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
This year I am at a new school and I have trouble dealing with it. I have friends and I am doing well academically. The thing is that sometimes I feel loneliness andisolation from everyone. I guess it is because I am used to having my good friends by my side. I try to make an effort to fit in and try to be accepted by my peers, but I feel that I am invisible to everyone and that I do not belong at this school but my old one. What should I do? I would really appreciate it if you can help.
Isolated
*** *** ***
Dear Isolated,
It is completely normal and natural to feel a little lonely and isolated when you first get to a new school. Sometimes the kids at the new place are instantly friendly and welcoming, almost like you're a new "star" that just came into their building. But it doesn't usually work that way, especially if it's a big school.
What usually happens is that you find one or two people you have something in common with and a friendship just sort of gets going. From their you get introduced to other people and it branches out into a new group of friends. Joining clubs or activities with other kids who are interested in the same things you are will make it go quicker.
What I think might be happening with you is that you're trying too hard. When you say you're making an effort, I wonder if you're putting out signals of REALLY needing a friend. If there's too much tension around you, people will be a little bit nervous about trying to approach.
My advice is too just be happy with who and where you are right now. Don't worry about WHEN you'll be accepted. Just know that you are GOOD ENOUGH to be accepted. Having that kind of confidence in yourself, along with being open to meeting new people will get you the friends and acceptance you're looking for.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 7:56 AM
