Monday, October 30, 2006
Heart Breaker
Dear Guidance Guy,
Last year in January I started going out with this boy I really liked. But it was like he was shy around me (he is one year younger than I am). As the months went by it was like he was getting shier and shier. Over the summer I hardly saw him and we hardly talked on the phone. I really liked him though and I think he really liked me too. But then when school started back, I broke up with him in school. Then I started going out with this other boy that had been on my mindforever. The next day after we started going out, my boyfriend told me he saw my ex-boyfriend crying. It made me feel really bad. Was I in the wrong? What do I do? Do I go back out with him or leave it?
Heartbreaker
*** *** ***
Dear Heartbreaker,
You are not responsible for your ex-boyfriend's feelings. It doesn't look like you did anything wrong to him and it also seems like he's not ready for a girlfriend at this point. If he's too shy to talk with you, he's too shy to go out with. As he gets older and more grown up, things could change. But now is not the time for having you as a girlfriend. Plus, we don't know if he was crying over you or something else.
And you should NEVER go out with someone out of pity. It's disrespectful to him and to yourself. It's nice that you're trying to do the right thing. But relationships - even first boyfriends and girlfriends - should be about enjoying each other's company and wanting to be with the other person. They should never be about trying to make someone else feel better. Let him get his act together, then go out with the right person at the right time.
Thanks for your letter,
The Guidance Guy
Last year in January I started going out with this boy I really liked. But it was like he was shy around me (he is one year younger than I am). As the months went by it was like he was getting shier and shier. Over the summer I hardly saw him and we hardly talked on the phone. I really liked him though and I think he really liked me too. But then when school started back, I broke up with him in school. Then I started going out with this other boy that had been on my mindforever. The next day after we started going out, my boyfriend told me he saw my ex-boyfriend crying. It made me feel really bad. Was I in the wrong? What do I do? Do I go back out with him or leave it?
Heartbreaker
*** *** ***
Dear Heartbreaker,
You are not responsible for your ex-boyfriend's feelings. It doesn't look like you did anything wrong to him and it also seems like he's not ready for a girlfriend at this point. If he's too shy to talk with you, he's too shy to go out with. As he gets older and more grown up, things could change. But now is not the time for having you as a girlfriend. Plus, we don't know if he was crying over you or something else.
And you should NEVER go out with someone out of pity. It's disrespectful to him and to yourself. It's nice that you're trying to do the right thing. But relationships - even first boyfriends and girlfriends - should be about enjoying each other's company and wanting to be with the other person. They should never be about trying to make someone else feel better. Let him get his act together, then go out with the right person at the right time.
Thanks for your letter,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 12:37 PM
