Sunday, October 08, 2006
Friend, And Annoying Other
Dear Guidance Guy,
My friend and I are in none of the same classes so obviously we've made other friends. I'm fine with her making friends and vise versa but there's this one friend of hers whose always hanging out with her, and I find her really annoying. She's not mean or rude, just annoying.
I still like my friend but her other friend just puts me out of a good mood sometimes, so whenever I'm with my friend I'm not really happy. I don't want my friend to stop making friends or to stop hanging out with her friend that I find annoying and I don't want us to stop being friends. But I just don't feel comfortable hanging out with her when her friend is always around. I also feel that if I confront my friend about this issue I'll come of as rude or that she'll tell her other friend. I also don't like the fact that her friends that I do like, she seems to ignore most of the time.
How should I deal with this without making myself seem rude?
-Anonymous
*** *** ***
Dear Anonymous,
Since you don't have a lot of time together anyway - not being in the same classes - it shouldn't be too much of a problem at school. If you eat lunch with her or spend school time with her outside the classroom, I can see where this would become obnoxious.
Invite her over your house for dinner, or watch a movie together, or do homework, etc. You don't have to mention her friend. Just enjoy her company and let her enjoy yours. If she brings up the annoying friend, just listen. Change the subject around to something else after listening for a while.
At some point your friend might catch on and ask if you have something against her other friend. It's OK to tell the truth - she's just not someone you relate to. If she's a good friend she'll respect that. If not, it may say something about your friendship. And that will leave you free to spend your time and energy with other people.
Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy
My friend and I are in none of the same classes so obviously we've made other friends. I'm fine with her making friends and vise versa but there's this one friend of hers whose always hanging out with her, and I find her really annoying. She's not mean or rude, just annoying.
I still like my friend but her other friend just puts me out of a good mood sometimes, so whenever I'm with my friend I'm not really happy. I don't want my friend to stop making friends or to stop hanging out with her friend that I find annoying and I don't want us to stop being friends. But I just don't feel comfortable hanging out with her when her friend is always around. I also feel that if I confront my friend about this issue I'll come of as rude or that she'll tell her other friend. I also don't like the fact that her friends that I do like, she seems to ignore most of the time.
How should I deal with this without making myself seem rude?
-Anonymous
*** *** ***
Dear Anonymous,
Since you don't have a lot of time together anyway - not being in the same classes - it shouldn't be too much of a problem at school. If you eat lunch with her or spend school time with her outside the classroom, I can see where this would become obnoxious.
Invite her over your house for dinner, or watch a movie together, or do homework, etc. You don't have to mention her friend. Just enjoy her company and let her enjoy yours. If she brings up the annoying friend, just listen. Change the subject around to something else after listening for a while.
At some point your friend might catch on and ask if you have something against her other friend. It's OK to tell the truth - she's just not someone you relate to. If she's a good friend she'll respect that. If not, it may say something about your friendship. And that will leave you free to spend your time and energy with other people.
Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 6:20 AM
