Monday, September 18, 2006
Trusting Yourself
Dear Guidance Guy,
I am in a quandry/crisis. I will be quitting grad school, (master's in Electrical Engineering) after one year. I thought it would be a quick two years but last year didn't go well, and I really don't want to do engineering as a career. I received my bachelors in physics two years ago.
Fortunately I finally went to Europe this summer; I did a six week study session in Sweden (Swedish language) followed by a four week tour of Europe. I had studied Swedish for an academic year prior to my trip. I have also studied Japanese, Spanish, French, Italian, and Ferman, although I really can't speak German, as I proved on my trip. I spoke the other languages pretty well though. It was my first time in Europe and now that I'm back home in Los Angeles I have a clearer/better/different perspective of this city and our country/culture (all the usual travel cliches).
So now that I will be quitting the electrical engineering program, I really don't know what to do. I am heavily in debt and so I need to make money. I don't want to start a job that I know I won't like. I can't be in a lab or in front of a computer all day. I am really sick of all that math. It causes me so much stress to do it. Just getting my bachelor's compromised my health so much. Physics was fine for school, but I can't do it all day.
Yet I feel compelled to do science or engineering because I got a bachelor's in it. It's a hard field; I've worked so hard all these years, and I don't know what other field to enter.
I've already seen career couselors, psychotherapists, psychiatrists, done group counseling, spoken to professors, etc. I really don't know what to do with my life next. Academically, I'm satisfied -- I feel like I've studied everything. I'm
not getting any younger so I really need to start getting that job experience; I just don't know where.
HELP!
Ryan
*** *** ***
Dear Ryan,
You've studied a remarkable amount of "stuff." I'm very impressed. For someone who enjoys learning and gets pleasure out of applying new skills, your lifestyle sounds perfect. Unfortunately, you don't seem like you're in that situation.
The answer you need isn't trying to find the career path that matches up with your skills and interests. You've already seen a career counselor and apparently that didn't help. The problem is within you. You aren't happy, and one more educational experience or career path isn't going to change that. It seems like you've spent a lot of time trying to chase some external definition of happiness. It's not out there, and looking for it some more will only delay your sense of well being.
The good news is that the answer is also inside you. How much time do you spend just being quiet with yourself and trusting your own inner wisdom? Try this - there are lots of great ways to meditate and discover the sense of fulfillement each of us can access.
It also seems like you can use a supportive community of people. Not a therapeutic community necessarily - just folks with common interests. It might be nice to be there for someone who needs your support as well!
Finally, if you need to pay the bills, pick up something - anything - that does that. Whether it uses your skills or pays minimum wage, something that helps you identify yourself as a money earner is a start. If it's boring or pays poorly, you can always keep yourself open to something more fulfilling.
Ryan, the answer to your problem is already inside you. Just slow down long enough to screen out the extra noise that's blocking your own wisdom.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
I am in a quandry/crisis. I will be quitting grad school, (master's in Electrical Engineering) after one year. I thought it would be a quick two years but last year didn't go well, and I really don't want to do engineering as a career. I received my bachelors in physics two years ago.
Fortunately I finally went to Europe this summer; I did a six week study session in Sweden (Swedish language) followed by a four week tour of Europe. I had studied Swedish for an academic year prior to my trip. I have also studied Japanese, Spanish, French, Italian, and Ferman, although I really can't speak German, as I proved on my trip. I spoke the other languages pretty well though. It was my first time in Europe and now that I'm back home in Los Angeles I have a clearer/better/different perspective of this city and our country/culture (all the usual travel cliches).
So now that I will be quitting the electrical engineering program, I really don't know what to do. I am heavily in debt and so I need to make money. I don't want to start a job that I know I won't like. I can't be in a lab or in front of a computer all day. I am really sick of all that math. It causes me so much stress to do it. Just getting my bachelor's compromised my health so much. Physics was fine for school, but I can't do it all day.
Yet I feel compelled to do science or engineering because I got a bachelor's in it. It's a hard field; I've worked so hard all these years, and I don't know what other field to enter.
I've already seen career couselors, psychotherapists, psychiatrists, done group counseling, spoken to professors, etc. I really don't know what to do with my life next. Academically, I'm satisfied -- I feel like I've studied everything. I'm
not getting any younger so I really need to start getting that job experience; I just don't know where.
HELP!
Ryan
*** *** ***
Dear Ryan,
You've studied a remarkable amount of "stuff." I'm very impressed. For someone who enjoys learning and gets pleasure out of applying new skills, your lifestyle sounds perfect. Unfortunately, you don't seem like you're in that situation.
The answer you need isn't trying to find the career path that matches up with your skills and interests. You've already seen a career counselor and apparently that didn't help. The problem is within you. You aren't happy, and one more educational experience or career path isn't going to change that. It seems like you've spent a lot of time trying to chase some external definition of happiness. It's not out there, and looking for it some more will only delay your sense of well being.
The good news is that the answer is also inside you. How much time do you spend just being quiet with yourself and trusting your own inner wisdom? Try this - there are lots of great ways to meditate and discover the sense of fulfillement each of us can access.
It also seems like you can use a supportive community of people. Not a therapeutic community necessarily - just folks with common interests. It might be nice to be there for someone who needs your support as well!
Finally, if you need to pay the bills, pick up something - anything - that does that. Whether it uses your skills or pays minimum wage, something that helps you identify yourself as a money earner is a start. If it's boring or pays poorly, you can always keep yourself open to something more fulfilling.
Ryan, the answer to your problem is already inside you. Just slow down long enough to screen out the extra noise that's blocking your own wisdom.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 2:04 PM
