Saturday, September 30, 2006
Confused Love
Dear Guidance Guy,
There's this guy I like at school and I think he likes me. He's basically showing all the signs of liking me anyway. We get along pretty well. My best friend used to like him and he used to like her and he never told her but he says he's over her now. I think he is well at least enough to like me. He's really shy and doesn't like to talk about stuff. I even tried to have one of his friends talk to him to see if he liked me (it didn't work that well).
Eveyone asks if I like him and I always say I don't know but I know that i really do...a lot. I don't know what to do. Should I tell him or let him tell me or just let it be.
Please Help,
Confused Love
P.S.: To make things even worse, I just found out that my best friend still kind of likes him and he mentions her sometimes. I know this sounds horrible but I don't want her to like him or him to like her. She feels bad because she knows I like him but she can't help it.
*** *** ***
Dear Confused Love,
If you tell him how you feel (which you seem pretty nervous about doing) he doesn't seem like he'll know what to do. He might admit he likes you back - and then maybe you can go out. It looks like this is the first time either of you have gotten close to having a "relationship" with someone else. So no matter what happens, enjoy it! You'll get to tell your future husband and kids about this whole thing (including the letter you wrote to The Guidance Guy- and he answered!)
One idea is to tell him how you feel, but also tell him if he doesn't feel the same way you'd still like to be friends. This way the pressure is off him. If he likes you, then you can bring it to the next stage. Of course, you have to decide what that is. Will you go out with him? Is he mature enough to have a girlfriend? Lots of times people "go out" with each other, but nothing really changes. They just decide they're going out, but they do the same things with their friends on the weekends. They still eat lunch with the same people, etc.
And if you do go out with him, is it worth the tension you will have with your friend? Someone may get their feelings hurt.
So the best advice I can give is to decide whether you like this guy enough to change the relationship you have with him and your other friend. If you do - and you're ready for the chance he may not like you the same way (or not know what to do about it even if he does) then go for it. Otherwise, it seems like a good idea to let things be as they are.
Thanks for a great letter,
The Guidance Guy
P.S. Don't worry. One or two years from now both of you will be a lot more self-confident. Then you'll have the Confused chance to try this whole thing all over again!
There's this guy I like at school and I think he likes me. He's basically showing all the signs of liking me anyway. We get along pretty well. My best friend used to like him and he used to like her and he never told her but he says he's over her now. I think he is well at least enough to like me. He's really shy and doesn't like to talk about stuff. I even tried to have one of his friends talk to him to see if he liked me (it didn't work that well).
Eveyone asks if I like him and I always say I don't know but I know that i really do...a lot. I don't know what to do. Should I tell him or let him tell me or just let it be.
Please Help,
Confused Love
P.S.: To make things even worse, I just found out that my best friend still kind of likes him and he mentions her sometimes. I know this sounds horrible but I don't want her to like him or him to like her. She feels bad because she knows I like him but she can't help it.
*** *** ***
Dear Confused Love,
If you tell him how you feel (which you seem pretty nervous about doing) he doesn't seem like he'll know what to do. He might admit he likes you back - and then maybe you can go out. It looks like this is the first time either of you have gotten close to having a "relationship" with someone else. So no matter what happens, enjoy it! You'll get to tell your future husband and kids about this whole thing (including the letter you wrote to The Guidance Guy- and he answered!)
One idea is to tell him how you feel, but also tell him if he doesn't feel the same way you'd still like to be friends. This way the pressure is off him. If he likes you, then you can bring it to the next stage. Of course, you have to decide what that is. Will you go out with him? Is he mature enough to have a girlfriend? Lots of times people "go out" with each other, but nothing really changes. They just decide they're going out, but they do the same things with their friends on the weekends. They still eat lunch with the same people, etc.
And if you do go out with him, is it worth the tension you will have with your friend? Someone may get their feelings hurt.
So the best advice I can give is to decide whether you like this guy enough to change the relationship you have with him and your other friend. If you do - and you're ready for the chance he may not like you the same way (or not know what to do about it even if he does) then go for it. Otherwise, it seems like a good idea to let things be as they are.
Thanks for a great letter,
The Guidance Guy
P.S. Don't worry. One or two years from now both of you will be a lot more self-confident. Then you'll have the Confused chance to try this whole thing all over again!
# posted by Larry Hochman : 8:41 AM
