Thursday, September 28, 2006
Choosing Between Best Friends
Dear Guidance Guy,
I have this 'friend' of mine. And she could be the perfect best friend. But her other friend doesn't like me which causes our friendship to loose it strength. Ireally want her to be my best friend instead of hers. How do I make her realize I'm her best friend and make her give up the other girl? I really need help! Help!
K.K.
*** *** ***
Dear K.K.
You do need help. You are suffering from a disease called jealousy. You want to keep this friend for yourself as if it's an "all or nothing" deal. Why do you want your friendship suffers because of this other girl? If you put her in a position where she has to choose between the two of you, no one will win. She may choose the other girl, in which case you'll be sad. Or she may choose you. But what happens when the next person comes around who might be a threat to your friendship?
If you try to keep this friend of yours away from other people, you'll always be wondering when the next person might come along who will take her away. If I was your friend, I wouldn't like you trying to control me in this way.
My advice: go easy on the whole best friend thing. Make it fun to be around you, not something to be nervous about. That's the best way of keeping friends, and also being happy with yourself.
Thanks for your letter,
The Guidance Guy
I have this 'friend' of mine. And she could be the perfect best friend. But her other friend doesn't like me which causes our friendship to loose it strength. Ireally want her to be my best friend instead of hers. How do I make her realize I'm her best friend and make her give up the other girl? I really need help! Help!
K.K.
*** *** ***
Dear K.K.
You do need help. You are suffering from a disease called jealousy. You want to keep this friend for yourself as if it's an "all or nothing" deal. Why do you want your friendship suffers because of this other girl? If you put her in a position where she has to choose between the two of you, no one will win. She may choose the other girl, in which case you'll be sad. Or she may choose you. But what happens when the next person comes around who might be a threat to your friendship?
If you try to keep this friend of yours away from other people, you'll always be wondering when the next person might come along who will take her away. If I was your friend, I wouldn't like you trying to control me in this way.
My advice: go easy on the whole best friend thing. Make it fun to be around you, not something to be nervous about. That's the best way of keeping friends, and also being happy with yourself.
Thanks for your letter,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 7:14 PM
