Friday, August 11, 2006
Loveless
Dear Guidance Guy,
I am going into my sophomore year. This past year was easy in school but hard in love. I had six boyfriends this year, SIX! and not one of them made it past a week. I have a bunch of guys hitting on me, I don't like it though. I always seem to get the wrong guy to fall for me. My friends have tried telling me what I should improve on. The guys all give the same reasons for why they break up with me. I am too hyper, I talk too much, they want more from me then I can offer, I am ugly. Should I keep looking or just wait for the guy to find me?
I could really use some advice here,
Loveless
*** *** ***
Dear Loveless,
Take yourself out of the boyfriend finding business for a while. It's not your time to get a guy. I'll explain why...
The fact that you had six short-term boyfriends in one year (at a young age) means you are putting out signals that you are available, but the wrong guys keep showing up. You are attracting them, but aren't ready for the relationship part. That's a combination of being young and not respecting yourself enough yet.
If a guy tells you you're ugly as part of the break-up process, it's a message. Why did he go out with you in the first place? Did he think you were pretty last week then decide you aren't the following week? It doesn't make sense.
Don't feel badly. I'm not putting you down. It's very common for 15 and 16 year old girls to want a boyfriend - so badly that they forget their self-respect comes first. You are being treated with a lack of respect by these guys who are your "boyfriends." And that usually happens because someone wants a boyfriend or girlfriend so badly they attract other desparate people.
What I'd love to see you do is take some time this year and just be happy with yourself. Do things that make you feel good. Be around people who like and support you - just the way you are. And if you don't find any, be happy with your own company. That is when the right people will come into your life - friends and boyfriends. It will seem like an accident, but it will really be because you're putting out "happy" signals, and the right people are responding.
Have a Fantastic Year,
The Guidance Guy
I am going into my sophomore year. This past year was easy in school but hard in love. I had six boyfriends this year, SIX! and not one of them made it past a week. I have a bunch of guys hitting on me, I don't like it though. I always seem to get the wrong guy to fall for me. My friends have tried telling me what I should improve on. The guys all give the same reasons for why they break up with me. I am too hyper, I talk too much, they want more from me then I can offer, I am ugly. Should I keep looking or just wait for the guy to find me?
I could really use some advice here,
Loveless
*** *** ***
Dear Loveless,
Take yourself out of the boyfriend finding business for a while. It's not your time to get a guy. I'll explain why...
The fact that you had six short-term boyfriends in one year (at a young age) means you are putting out signals that you are available, but the wrong guys keep showing up. You are attracting them, but aren't ready for the relationship part. That's a combination of being young and not respecting yourself enough yet.
If a guy tells you you're ugly as part of the break-up process, it's a message. Why did he go out with you in the first place? Did he think you were pretty last week then decide you aren't the following week? It doesn't make sense.
Don't feel badly. I'm not putting you down. It's very common for 15 and 16 year old girls to want a boyfriend - so badly that they forget their self-respect comes first. You are being treated with a lack of respect by these guys who are your "boyfriends." And that usually happens because someone wants a boyfriend or girlfriend so badly they attract other desparate people.
What I'd love to see you do is take some time this year and just be happy with yourself. Do things that make you feel good. Be around people who like and support you - just the way you are. And if you don't find any, be happy with your own company. That is when the right people will come into your life - friends and boyfriends. It will seem like an accident, but it will really be because you're putting out "happy" signals, and the right people are responding.
Have a Fantastic Year,
The Guidance Guy
# posted by Larry Hochman : 9:31 AM
